The Magic of Flirting

By Andre Leblanc

Flirting is the way most people feststellendetermine whether or not a member of the das andere Geschlechtopposite sex is interested in them. Following is a quick Überblickoutline on how you should go about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task of flirting. It all begins with your Kontaktaufnahme, Annäherungapproach.

The Approach

One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical Näheproximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility of initiating contact. You must approach!

Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a man stands near a woman in a dance club. This is the first step. Once you approach, you begin looking for the signs.

The Signs

The person who has been approached will always signal the others presence in some way…a sign. This signal is not like a train whistle, however, more a feinsubtle body language which you can learn to recognize. For example, he or she simply may look up, move over to make room, nickennod slightly, or signal with a flüchtigglancing eye contact.

A display of total hier: Nichtbeachten, Ignorierenobliviousness to the one who is approaching generally indicates mangelndes Interesselack of interest altogether. Dont be entmutigtdiscouraged. But if the one you approached shows absolutely no interest, then its time to umorientierenre-group and try again. But lets say the approach works. You have your positive Bestätigungacknowledgement, now what? Time to talk.

The Verbal Exchange

The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene around them. The key word here is MILD.

This is the classic place for the clever line, but cleverness is not erforderlichrequired. At this point, a verbal exchange is not for the purpose of sharing valuable Einblickeinsights about life or determining philosophical compatibility. It is just a vehicle to voranbringenfurther the developing contact.

Examples: Verbal Anfänge, Einstiegovertures might include anything from please pass the pickles to your looking great tonight, to have you seen the waitress?. Without some form of verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will occur. Lets say all is going as planned. Time for body language.

Body Language

Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also begin to orient themselves physically to one another, to turn toward one another until, if all goes well, they are fully facing one another. This is your Zielgoal.

This step can take minutes or hours … or weeks or months … to achieve. Yet, without this physical reorientation toward one another, not very much can ever happen, so give up on people who turn their back toward you for long periods of time! But if they dont …


The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in a light, flüchtige Artfleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their hands against one another while reaching for a drink, or the woman might pat the man on the arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well, can escalate into the casual affections shown by couples who are dating. If youve reached this point, then flirting has now become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get out there and flirt.

The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact. You only have one shot at making a great first impression. By following some of the guidelines weve established in this article, you should now be equipped to locate, approach, and feststellenascertain whether or not your subtle flirting has opened the doors to a new and exciting relationship.

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Questions on the text

Answer the questions according to the text.

  • What positive sign could follow an approach?

  • What should you do if the person you approach doesn't react?

  • Which topic is not suitable for a first conversation.

  • How can body language express that two people like each other?